Committed

I'm working on one of the new book ideas I came up with and decided to take a break and write about the past couple of days. Despite what I said before, this idea is actually reminiscent of my own life - I guess there's really no getting around it, is there? We each put SOMETHING of ourselves in everything we write. My main characters always have either qualities I have or want to have. This idea, though, is different from true-to-life things I've written in the past. If I can just keep up with the writing, I think it could turn out pretty good. =)

So on Monday I had my appointment with the admissions counselor at EWU - I felt like I had stepped into a time machine when I found a parking spot and started walking around the imposing campus. I felt the same nerves when I was getting acquainted with MJC, but MJC is much smaller and much easier to navigate than EWU (and I could get myself turned around pretty good on MJC East trying to figure out where I had parked and how to get there from where I was, depending on which building my class was in). Shae, my oldest stepdaughter, does Running Start at EWU, so she had drawn on the map of the campus I printed out and told me where to park and how to get to where I needed to be. I found a spot on what was probably not the exact road she had pointed out - since by the time I made it there, my frayed nerves had made her exact instructions a little blurry. I knew I was in the general area, though, so I set off in the direction I figured I needed to go - which was of course on the opposite corner of where I parked (because it was free to park over there), on the furthest part of the campus. Occasionally I pulled out my map to see if I could tell where I was and if I was going in the right direction, but I've never been good at reading maps OR having any sense of direction, so something like this, by myself, was very nearly an educational suicide mission. When I had made my way to the other side of the campus and there was still no sign of the building I needed, I asked someone walking in my direction where the building was, and I actually wasn't too far from it.

Once inside, I asked the woman at the front desk where the academic counseling office was and she directed me to the third floor. Now, I'm not afraid of elevators like I used to be, but I'll still take the stairs any day over one of those industrial gray boxes. It's different if they are see-through or fancy in some way, but those regular elevators....no thanks. So I hoofed it up the stairs and realized once again when I arrived on the third floor panting like a dog, heart racing, that you don't have to be fat to be out of shape. lol They couldn't find my appointment, though, and come to find out that prospective students usually meet with someone downstairs - so back down those three flights of stairs I went. (Thankfully, down is always easier than up!) It took me far longer to find my way TO the place than it took me to meet with the guy (isn't that always the way it goes?) but the meeting went well, and my best bet is to take the rest of my AA requirements at a junior college since all I need is a college-level math course and a lab science (something that wasn't required at MJC for the degree I was going for), which will be cheaper than taking them at a four-year. After I finish those, I'll automatically be accepted to EWU and can get my BA in Psychology - and I don't know how these things work at other universities, but the EWU brochure points out that the psychology professors there involve their students in their research and publishings, so I really can't wait for that!

Trying to find my way back to my car after the meeting was even more difficult than finding the building in the first place. I was bemoaning my lack of direction when I saw a building I had passed on the way over and congratulated myself for figuring out where I was and that I was headed in the right direction, thinking maybe my sense of direction was unexpectedly improving. About twenty seconds later I realized this was not the case - I had no idea where I was and didn't recognize any of the buildings around me. There had been construction by where I parked and I could see the construction ahead of me, so I figured if I followed that out to the road, I'd be able to easily find where I parked. I had made a point of looking at the street signs right near where I parked and knew that I needed to find Elm and Eerie, and hoped that the street I came out on would be Elm. Luckily, it was - but as I looked up and down the street I realized that nothing looked familiar there either, and I had no idea which direction Eerie was in. I REALLY got lucky - God was watching over this poor, directionless soul. lol - and didn't have to walk far before I could see a street sign that said Eerie and not long after that, the distinctive color of my Gaucmobile. =)(Seriously, I love this car - aside from the fact that it drives well and has lots of room, I never have to worry about losing it in a parking lot! lol)

Yesterday I had the appointment with one of the temp agencies I registered with, where I took five different tests and met with someone to discuss my resume in more detail and talk about what kind of work I'm willing to do. Unfortunately since I haven't worked in 6 years and my job history prior to that is the somewhat spotty history of a teenager who didn't HAVE to work and thus wasn't really invested in many of the jobs I had. There were a few that I enjoyed, but even though two of those lasted nearly a year, I don't even have a job on my resume that lasted a year. And, sadly, when it comes to the real world, 6 years as a Domestic Engineer doesn't count for much. BUT I'm hopeful that I can do some temporary work to start getting my resume built up. Wish me luck - I need it! =)

In the meantime, in between getting prepared for school and submitting as many job applications as I can, wherever I can, I'm working on my writing. As you can see, I'm trying to blog more to, at the very least, even if I don't have much to say, keep the typing skills fresh and the creative juices flowing. Besides the blog, I've got this new idea I just started working on - I've got all the chapters and basic ideas outlined, and yesterday I started working on the first chapter, which is what I'm going to get back to when I'm done with this blog. Before I do that, though, I want to get back to my 3 things since I haven't done that in the past couple of entries - and I'll try to come up with completely new things, since you all already know how grateful I am for my husband and family. =)

1. I'm grateful for the talents God has blessed me with. I often wish that I could sing spectacularly well or play an instrument or something like that, but the fact is I'm really glad I can write. I'm not a bad singer and I've never taken any kind of lessons to even try and learn an instrument, I'm too klutzy to be great at sports (pretty sure walking without running into things and not tripping over yourself are basic requirements for success in most sports), I can't draw.....the list of the things I'm NOT could go on forever, but I am truly grateful for the gifts I have been blessed with. I love being able to evoke emotion with my words and paint a vivid, thought-provoking picture without a canvas. I love that I can bring joy to others with my words - and though I have to be careful of how I use this part of it, I'm sometimes impressed with how I can use my words to defend myself. When used properly, it's extremely effective. Well, it tends to be extremely effective even when used IMproperly, but I try not to do that anymore. The other thing I think I'm really good at is how fast I type, which is something anyone can do with enough practice - that's how I got so good at it - and hopefully I can use to that to my advantage when looking for a job.

2. Material security. We're not rich, but compared to how my ex-husband and I lived, sometimes it feels like it. I don't have to worry about having money for food or electricity or getting evicted, and if I want to pick up the occasionall iTunes card or book or movie or whatever, it's not a big deal. This is something I don't think I'll ever take for granted after the life circumstances of my previous marriage or being a single mother, and I am always grateful for the blessings of God and the unbelievably hard work of my husband that makes this possible.

3. Spring! And the fact that I've survived my first Washington winter without becoming an icicle. lol I never had to drive that much in the snow, thank goodness, because I am NOT a fan - and especially not a fan of backing out of our driveway when it's snowing or has been snowing. Yesterday I had to trudge through the sludge that is our driveway in my nice shoes, almost slipped in the mud right next to my car, and then gun it to back out of the muddy tracks my car sits in - but I can't complain too much, since the roads are fine and I haven't gotten stuck trying to get out of the driveway in a while.

And now for the three things I need to work on, which will hopefully at some point in the near future be things I can say I have conquered:

1. My insecurity about my writing. Too often I let insecurity hold me back when I want to do something but am afraid of failing at it. Nothing ever happens in life when you sit back and wait for something to happen TO you....I've lived it. And I've found that some of the most exhilirating, wonderful things I've experienced have happened when I've let go of my worries - or at the very least not let them stop me from doing something - and just jumped in with both feet, fully committed. Thus my committment to write SOMETHING every day, regardless of how nervous I am at how it might be critiqued or if it might never see the light of a bookstore....I'm just going to do it, and not let the fear of failure or even temporary failure itself keep me from my dreams.

2. My eating habits. I've generally been eating basically nothing for most of the day except for a few small snacks and then finally eating like I should at dinner, and I'd just like to eat healthier in general and start getting some exercise every day, like going for a walk or taking London to the park now that the weather is nicer. Like I thought after I walked up those stairs yesterday, you don't have to be fat to be out of shape, and I'd like to be in good shape in every sense of the term.

3. This is something I'm still working on, but it was something that I REALLY needed to work on in the past and feel like I'm doing pretty well at: cooking. I don't LOVE it yet, but I don't mind it, and that's a pretty big step from how I used to feel about it. lol I hate it when I disagree with someone and turn out to be wrong, but in this case I have to give kudos to everyone who told me that I would like it and be good at it if I would just do it, and they were right (I can feel a chorus of "I told you so's" coming). I've made some pretty cool stuff - chicken costa brava, sweet and sour meatballs, tilapia, French's crunchy onion chicken....all kinds of stuff, and everything I've made has turned out good, which has made me like it more and given me more confidence. I've actually found, against all odds, that I would much rather make an elaborate meal than throw a dinner together that can be assembled in the microwave. Whoulda thunk? ;-)