It's time!

I paved the road with good intentions for so long, and finally my money is getting put where my mouth is. I've talked about going back to school, I've talked about writing - I've talked about a lot of things, but nothing along those lines ever got done. Of course, that woman of inaction and good intentions really feels a lifetime away from who I am now. I think back to, for instance, 16-year-old Laura. The girl with the overinflated sense of self-importance who didn't care about anything as much as she cared about having a boyfriend and feeling loved. The girl who used any advantage she could to be the center of attention. This would continue for many years, although it would take her a long time to realize it. 20-year-old Laura, whose careless actions and need for love turned into becoming a mother two weeks after her 21st birthday. One of the best things that would ever happen to her; it starts to get her to think outside of herself and care more about other people. Ultimately though, even as she aged she essentially stayed in that 20-year-old mentality thanks to being in an abusive relationship with a poor excuse for a man that was the complete opposite of a mature, responsible husband and father. Others, mostly parents and welfare, paid their way, enabling the two of them to continue behaving like children playing house. 25-year-old Laura finally asserts herself enough to get out of the marriage after countless forms and incidents of abuse and adultery, but still thinks more about herself than most people. And then....fireworks. A sudden, shocking realization that love is not what I thought it was. Growing up with divorced parents doesn't give you the best example of what marriage is supposed to be like, and early "relationships" and my first marriage only reinforced the wrong things. But then out of the blue, when I had sworn I didn't want to get married again, Vernon came along. The rest, as they say, is history....it's likely you already know the story. ;-) Sure, there were struggles. Merging two families is not easy, but we're past all that. Being with a real man, a Godly man, who is mature and responsible and a wonderful husband and father, has helped me do the growing up I should have done long ago. I am no longer the first person I think of. I get things done. It has brought material blessings as well - first there were the big things I finally got to cross off my bucket list - buying the Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder I've wanted since I was 18, and seeing Nickelback in concert, both incredible things. We continue to be blessed even more - I went back to work at Guardian this May, and shortly after that Vernon went back to work through the union at Grand Coulee Dam. That enabled me to decide to go back to school and focus on writing - as of week after next, when the girls get back from my visiting my parents, I'm going to part-time. I can actually work because I want to, not because we need me to. I'm sitting here typing on my new laptop that we just purchased, and we looked at a house earlier that we're hoping to buy. It's just unbelievable how we've been blessed in so many ways. 30-year-old Laura loves life and the way things have turned out. God and family are the most important things, hands down.I see so many differences in myself, and I could not be happier about where life is in where it's going. Since it's been so long since I've written anything and I finally got a new laptop, I knew it was time to dust off the creativity and do what I do best these days - take care of business. ;-)