Thankful for this charmed life.

It's nearly 11:00 on a Wednesday - a completely typical night. The house is quiet except for the TV, always on for background noise, and Sam (our dog), who is constantly snuffling as if he suffers from the same allergies as the rest of us. I'm just sitting here feeling grateful in the midst of this mundanity. I love my life, and the simplicity of sitting here with a recorded episode of People's Court playing on tv and the kids all asleep. It's the quiet moments like this that inspire me to reflect on just how much I have to be thankful for, as cliched as that may sound. Granted, there are things I'd change if I could - I wish my husband could bring home the paycheck he does while working in Spokane rather than Grand Coulee so that we could go to sleep next to each other every night instead of spending three nights each week sleeping alone, but I don't see how I can complain even about that when we've been so richly blessed. There are so many events in the past I can look back at and contrast it to life now and see such a vast difference in not just the quality of my life, but the substance of myself. I've done a lot of growing up recently - I can pinpoint the exact day that I went from a selfish, egocentric adolescent in an adult's body - maybe I'm being too hard on myself- then again, maybe not - but when I look back over my past I can definitely admit that I've always been most concerned with how things affected ME, how everything made ME feel, or inconvenienced ME. There are still times when I have to fight that old enemy of pride or egotism, but it's far less of a problem these days than it used to be. Though there were many struggles we had to go through for me to grow and for our family to successfully blend (if either of those terms can ever truly accurately be applied to remarriage and stepfamilies. lol) and though I wish many of them had been unnecessary, for the most part I'm thankful for the way life has unfolded over the past four years. After all, it's the trials and things that test us that help us to grow and better ourselves. Now when I think about other relationships I've been in or the most grevious of mistakes I've made, it feels less like I'm recalling my own memories and more like it was something I saw in a movie. I've been back in school part-time for a couple of weeks now, and though at first it felt a little overwhelming - after all, thus far I had only ever juggled two of my current roles at a time (when I was in college at 20, I only worked and went to school; after having kids and returning for more schooling I was also a stay-at-home mom). Having never done it before, I was confident that I could juggle taking care of a family, working part-time, and 7 credits of classes but a little nervous; unsure if I could juggle all three and give each responsibility my full attention and best efforts. Also, grading writing assignments in college is subjective - you're never completely sure when you start a class with a new professor what their writing style is. Turns out though, I needn't have worried - one of the great things about onine classes is that you can work ahead if you're so inclined, so right now I'm done with (and aced) everything due through the 24th. As it often happens, I started this draft a few weeks ago and am just now getting back to it.The only thing that's changed is that I'm nearly done with all of the assignments for both of my classes - I expect to be completely done within a week, and the quarter doesn't actually end until December 5th. I register for the next quarter of classes on the 3rd, and I'm planning on taking 18 credits (full-time is 12). After literally months of studying and brushing up on math, I went and took my placement test last week and got into the class I wanted to (phew!). 4th quarter at work is in full swing, and I'm enjoying the fact that when it's over I'll be switching gears and finally pursuing a career. What blessings God has showered on us lately....it's overwhelming. =) Today is a day well suited for nostalgia, as it's London's 7th birthday. It's hard to believe it was only 7 years ago that she was born when she acts more like a teenager. lol It has been amazing to be a mother to these two little girls, and I can't wait to see what the future has in store for them, and for our whole family. Wish me luck - as soon as I'm finished with school for the quarter, I'm going to start putting more effort into the book I started working on. Who knows, before long maybe I'll have some good news on that front, too. ;-)

It's time!

I paved the road with good intentions for so long, and finally my money is getting put where my mouth is. I've talked about going back to school, I've talked about writing - I've talked about a lot of things, but nothing along those lines ever got done. Of course, that woman of inaction and good intentions really feels a lifetime away from who I am now. I think back to, for instance, 16-year-old Laura. The girl with the overinflated sense of self-importance who didn't care about anything as much as she cared about having a boyfriend and feeling loved. The girl who used any advantage she could to be the center of attention. This would continue for many years, although it would take her a long time to realize it. 20-year-old Laura, whose careless actions and need for love turned into becoming a mother two weeks after her 21st birthday. One of the best things that would ever happen to her; it starts to get her to think outside of herself and care more about other people. Ultimately though, even as she aged she essentially stayed in that 20-year-old mentality thanks to being in an abusive relationship with a poor excuse for a man that was the complete opposite of a mature, responsible husband and father. Others, mostly parents and welfare, paid their way, enabling the two of them to continue behaving like children playing house. 25-year-old Laura finally asserts herself enough to get out of the marriage after countless forms and incidents of abuse and adultery, but still thinks more about herself than most people. And then....fireworks. A sudden, shocking realization that love is not what I thought it was. Growing up with divorced parents doesn't give you the best example of what marriage is supposed to be like, and early "relationships" and my first marriage only reinforced the wrong things. But then out of the blue, when I had sworn I didn't want to get married again, Vernon came along. The rest, as they say, is history....it's likely you already know the story. ;-) Sure, there were struggles. Merging two families is not easy, but we're past all that. Being with a real man, a Godly man, who is mature and responsible and a wonderful husband and father, has helped me do the growing up I should have done long ago. I am no longer the first person I think of. I get things done. It has brought material blessings as well - first there were the big things I finally got to cross off my bucket list - buying the Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder I've wanted since I was 18, and seeing Nickelback in concert, both incredible things. We continue to be blessed even more - I went back to work at Guardian this May, and shortly after that Vernon went back to work through the union at Grand Coulee Dam. That enabled me to decide to go back to school and focus on writing - as of week after next, when the girls get back from my visiting my parents, I'm going to part-time. I can actually work because I want to, not because we need me to. I'm sitting here typing on my new laptop that we just purchased, and we looked at a house earlier that we're hoping to buy. It's just unbelievable how we've been blessed in so many ways. 30-year-old Laura loves life and the way things have turned out. God and family are the most important things, hands down.I see so many differences in myself, and I could not be happier about where life is in where it's going. Since it's been so long since I've written anything and I finally got a new laptop, I knew it was time to dust off the creativity and do what I do best these days - take care of business. ;-)