My Gratitude & Prayer (1)

My best friend Cori recently started a "gratitude and prayer" journal. The idea is to write down three things you're grateful for and three things you need to work on every day. A couple of lifetimes ago (in other words, about seven years ago) I used to do something similar on my blog. If I remember correctly, my practice back then was to write down five things every day that I was grateful for, or five things about that day that were good. For a while I was pretty good about keeping up with that blog, so hopefully I can get back into the habit! Even though neither of us have written as much as we would like to lately, it's nice to have a best friend who also loves to write. I love that we can inspire each other about what to write and talking to someone else that understands the drive to write things down, the ideas that float about constantly in the head of a writer, and how much easier it is to work through things when you put pen to paper.

But I digress! Here are today's three things that I am grateful for:

1) Of course, more than anything I am grateful for my children. It goes without saying and is always at the top of my gratitude list. For the sake of variety and to challenge myself, I won't list them every day, but they are always number one. =) I could endlessly enumerate the reasons I am grateful for them, not least of which is the bond that is created between mother and child simply by virtue of nature. They are made of the best parts of me, and every day I marvel at them. They are beautiful - though I wouldn't care if they weren't, but I certainly hope for their sakes that they avoid going through an awkward stage like I did when I was younger (and thankfully I don't think they will since they're far prettier than I ever was). What I love the most is their cuddles, their fun personalities, their little voices, and their enthusiasm for everything, to name just a few things. I love how different they are, and how similar. And boy, how different they are - Faith is zombie-like for several minutes in the morning and London wakes up with a smile on her face, ready to jump up and into anything. Faith wants help with things and London's mantra is "I do it on my own!" They both love being read to, going to church, and dancing. They both bring so much light and joy to my life....no matter what else is going on, looking at their sweet faces can make me feel like all is right in the world. My precious children affirm to me the very existence of God - because no one and nothing else could create such miracles.

2) I'm grateful for those that have helped and supported me, particularly over the last year. I've walked a path over the last year that has been extremely difficult more often than not, and without friends and family to encourage and uplift me, it would have made things unbearable. My parents (my mom and stepdad) have taken me in and helped me so much over the last year, and there's no way I could ever adequately repay them for such a kindness. I have friends who have been there for me throughout this whole ordeal, and for that I'm more grateful than i could possibly express. It's not that there are never difficulties in said friendships, but that truly doesn't matter. What really matters is how those conflicts are handled, that we mean enough to each other to work through those things, and that we are there to support each other when the chips are down. I'm so grateful for those people who have helped me through the most difficult periods of my life. Thankfully those really difficult periods are in the past and hopefully will stay there!

3) I'm grateful for second chances. Without them I wouldn't have a new lease on life, I wouldn't have my best friends or the possibilities that lie ahead of me right now, and I wouldn't have the opportunity to move past the mistakes that I've made.

And now for the three things I need to work on. It's hard to cut down the things I'm grateful for to only three, but I think it may be harder to leave what I need to work on at only three. I guess that's a good thing - life is all about growing and learning, so maybe it's better that way. Alrighty, here we go.....

1. I need to get a job. The search for one has been frustrating to say the least and has made me want to try less, not more. That just isn't an option at this point in my life. I don't want to rely on other people so much in life - I know that we are supposed to "bear one another's burdens", but I want that to be an occasional need rather than a constant one. I'm working on my A.A so that I can put that on my resume and hopefully begin to develop some kind of competitive edge, but at this point I have a H.S. diploma and a gap of 5 1/2 years of not working outside the home....I was barely 20 the last time I had a regular job! It doesn't look good when looking for a job alongide people with recent experience and education. Stupid economy. There's got to be something, and I need to find it.

2. I've gotten so much better about cleaning since living here, but I need to improve on that as well. That one is pretty self-explanatory.

3. I'm pretty feisty, and too quick to take offense to things. The feisty part I'm generally okay with, but I want to continue improving how I REACT to things. The feisty comes out a little too harshly sometimes, I think (and others probably do too) and that's not something I'm content with. I need to be better about making sure I understand what someone is saying before I automatically assume and take offense to something.

I think that's enough of my faults for one day. lol There are plenty more where that came from. I actually started this blog at least a month ago and had written all of the positives, and I'm happy to say that life in general is much more positive than it was even a month ago. Between school and.....stuff....things are looking up. =)